emblazoned

once in a while.

every once in a while i feel like i want to scream out loud.

every once in a while i feel like i want to cry so bad.

and so i cried. and my soul, it screams. out loud.

every once in a while i feel like i’m hurt. hurt so bad.

‘cause every once in a while i feel like there’s no one out there who loves me.

and because every once in a while i feel like i’m so lonely.

and every once in a while i know i am alone.

no matter how many people there are in your life, you would always be alone.

you succeed alone. you tried alone. you loved someone alone. and even in the end you’re just gonna be with yourself in heaven or hell.

and somehow, while i’m in love with this person. i feel like he don’t love me as much as i love him. i expect too much. i hope too much. and my negative thoughts are too much.

that made me sick. sick of the life i’m going through, alone.

is it wrong to expect someone to love you the way you love them?

is it wrong to wanting that someone treats you the same way as you do? or just treat you the way you expect them to do?

why is everything seems so wrong? when it comes to relationship, it’s like you’re always afraid you do something for good or for them but it turns out you’re doing something wrong and that they don’t like it. and you get all the blame for it, but you know that what you’ve done is supposed to make them feel better ‘cause you just love them that much.

but still, no matter what you think it’s good or perfect, not all of them would think the same way. would feel the same feelings you felt.

even him. sometimes i love him too much and that i cried. i don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or he just won’t get it.

i don’t know. i’m just so confused. i’m so caught up between this right or wrong. what i thought was right it could turn out to be wrong. what i thought was wrong somehow it turns out to be right.

it’s weird. the way life spinning around. it’s just weird.

or maybe there is no right or wrong? and maybe those right or wrong were just opinions of a person’s mind?

or maybe, i was correct?

oh, i don’t know. blame me.